Several years later, Benny had been tortured to near death, he was hoping to be rescued but that seemed to be impossible at this point.
"He's here! He's here!" says a person.
"Who?" says another person.
"Google!"
"Who's that?"
"Someone who was created by Stanford University!"
"Never heard of it or this Google thing!"
"Let me just put it this way! He is our God!"
"What's a god?"
"Not god! God!"
"Whatever, he's standing right behind me. Google! Please set this guy straight!"
"I am Google! I am your God! Worship me, and chaos will end!" says Google.
"What chaos! We never had chaos!" says the man.
"Here is an example!" Google pulls out a portable TV, "Look at the broadcast! They are actually showing this guy named Benny get tortured! That is why I am a God now!"
"Then save this guy!"
Google pulls out a book. "Okay, article 20000003 of the God's Handbook states, that I shall kill the torturers with a classic god lightning bolt! I'll be back, I have to visit the God merchant.
"I'd like a couple thousand lightning bolts." says Google.
"That'll be 20000 God credits!" says the merchant.
"C'mon! I'm a noob to being a god! Can't you ask for less?"
"10 God credits total, and that's my final offer!"
"Sweet! It's a deal! Thanks man!"
"How do you throw these lightning bolts again?" says Google.
"The God's Handbook says to press "A" on the Xbox 650 controller, my Lord." says a peasant.
"Okay, wait a minute, why is there a peasant in heaven?" says Google
"Forget it! Just throw it!"
Google presses A. "There, I killed the torturers...happy?"
"Yes."
"I wasn't expecting an answer!"
"Whatever."
"Whoa! I survived! Wait, those torturer guys fell asleep! Run for the hills before they wake up!" says Benny.
"Time to find Levi!" says Benny.
The next chapter will be Benny's return to Ultimopolis for a Welcome Back party.
Benny's Version of the Spam God Article